COMM 101:
This is the sort of change I like to see! I told a group to make the following sentence simpler and more direct:
"While the economic activity of the district is a large concern, I am primarily focused on the situation of selling handguns at gun shows without regulations."
This is what they came up with:
"While local businesses are very important to me, my first priority is the safety of our district."
[Adam, Ethan, Allison]